Coping with Friendship Loss and Embracing New Connections as a Mom
Becoming a new mom is a joyous and transformative experience, but it can also bring unexpected changes in your social circle. Relationships in adulthood are hard, and so is motherhood. It's not uncommon to feel the weight of them both as a crushing blow to your sense of connectedness.
The good news? You're not alone in this journey. Many new moms encounter similar feelings, and there are ways to cope with these changes while forging new connections. Let’s talk about what that means when loneliness is hard, adult friendships are a mystery and spare time is a myth.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
You’re feeling lonely, and that’s uncomfortable
Loneliness isn't just a challenge for teenagers or young adults; it can cast a shadow over adult friendships too. The complexities of grown-up life often lead us down different paths, and maintaining connections becomes more demanding. As responsibilities mount, and schedules fill to the brim, it's easy to lose touch with friends or feel adrift in the sea of adult obligations.
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, the profound need for meaningful connections often gets overlooked. Adult loneliness can be especially trying, as it's not always as readily acknowledged or discussed as the loneliness experienced in youth. Yet, it's equally valid and can affect our emotional well-being.
But here's the silver lining: recognizing the presence of loneliness in your life is the first step to building relationships in adulthood that fulfil you so you can address it. For all grown-ups, especially new moms, nurturing connections that help you feel grounded and authentic in your own life will only ever make a positive change in your world. Loneliness is hard, but it's never too late to spark a change that can enrich your life for the stage you’re in and will help you forge friendships that last.
So, let’s talk about what you can do to make that happen for you.
Allow yourself to grieve what friendship used to look like
Our kids change our lives—and our outlook on life—in every conceivable way. Sometimes, those changes don’t feel awesome, especially when it means the ends of relationships or routines that you cherished. Make space for that. It's a profound shift that can evoke a range of emotions, and it's crucial to give yourself the permission to grieve these changes.
The friendships you had before kid(s) mattered. They brought you joy, belonging and taught you the rhythms of connection. They provided support, so of course you’re in your feelings about the changes. These grief-adjacent emotions can be intense but they are a natural part of the process, and suppressing them can make the adjustment even more challenging.
Don't rush through these feelings or dismiss them as insignificant. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve the connection styles and friendships you’ve lost, as doing so is an essential step in healing and making room for the new connections that await you in your journey as a mom.
2. Make space for new connections that work for your life now
As you navigate the changing landscape of your social circle after becoming a mom, there's a delicate balance to strike between nurturing existing connections and forging new ones. It's not just about letting go of old friendships; it's also about building something new from your past and creating new bonds alongside them. There’s two ways you can start to do this:
Reconnect with old friends
The bonds you've built with your old friends are valuable, and it's worth making the effort to maintain them. Reach out to these friends, let them know you still care, and understand that your relationship may need to evolve to accommodate the new chapter in your life. You might be surprised at how understanding and supportive they can be.
Make new mom friends:
At the same time, don't hesitate to explore new avenues of connection with fellow moms. Building friendships with other mothers who share similar experiences can be incredibly rewarding. Joining mommy groups, participating in parenting classes, or volunteering with local children's organizations are fantastic ways to meet new mom friends who can offer empathy and companionship on your motherhood journey.
By striking this balance between reconnecting with old friends and making new mom friends, you'll be weaving a strong social support network that acknowledges your past while embracing your present and future.m
3. Practice patience…. mostly with yourself
There’s no big speech or secret ingredient for this one, I’m afraid. Just a gentle reminder that you, too, are deserving of the patience and care you share with your loved ones.
You’re learning and growing and that’s hard. Give yourself the grace to adapt, grow, and make mistakes without self-judgment. Understand that forming new connections takes time, just like raising a child requires patience and nurturing. Relationships evolve at their own pace, and it's okay if things don't happen overnight. By practicing patience, you'll find that the bonds you forge as a mom become stronger, more enduring, and ultimately, deeply rewarding.
5 quick tips for friendship in motherhood
We know you’re busy, but before you go we want to leave you with 5 tips that you can hold on to. Think on them, reshape them and make them your own, just like your friendships.
Be honest about what you can offer.
Have a friendship with yourself too.
Join a mom’s club or support group.
Be open-minded in the who, what, where and how of friends.
And don’t you forget for a moment that if you need a little bit of extra oomph in finding what you need, we got you. Get in touch with us and start striking a new balance of friendship that fits in your #momlife today.
We’re rooting for you.
