Caring for your mental health as a sexual assault survivor
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Recent years have seen many people—celebrities and non-celebrities alike—sharing unprecedented disclosures of sexual harassment, assault, and rape. The #MeToo and Time’s Up movements continue strong, encouraging people to open up and share traumatic sexual experiences.
So too does the recognition of April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month support our growing awareness of men and women who have been subject to this sort of violation. Conversations like these can help let victims and survivors know they aren’t alone. But, they can also drag up those old memories that will not seem to let go.
Before you dive in, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Trauma Cannot Be Easily Forgotten
No matter how long it’s been, situations may arise where you feel triggered and transported right back to that moment in time. In these moments, the part of you that is trapped in that memory plays out the sense of helplessness and fear on a physical and soul level, and the toll on your mental health is high. Even years after sexual assault, residual feelings of shame, defensiveness, anger, or self-blame can hold you in their iron grip. And as we’re reminded by trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score for many years to come. His work concludes that even when we relegate our traumatic experiences to the unconscious parts of our psyche, our bodies remain sensitized, on guard, ready to attack and defend.
Whether these reactions arise directly after an assault or when talking about assault years later, they are expected reactions to unhealed trauma. These feelings are symptoms, not your reality, despite their power to keep you knocked off-balance. Of course, there is hope for healing after sexual assault. Therapy sessions with a trauma-informed provider and the tips discussed in this blog can help you regain your sense of trust and safety and learn how to care for your mental health.
“There’s no right or wrong reaction to being assaulted. It’s okay to feel many things simultaneously or even be unsure of how you feel. These feelings can last long, whether they surface right after the attack or arise many years later.”
Caring For Your Mental Health As A Sexual Assault Survivor
Mental health includes our psychological, emotional, and social well-being. The way that sexual assault survivors care for their mental health will likely change after an attack as they’ve been introduced to a new sense of fear on a primal level. They may feel anger or be left with a crippling sense of feeling unsafe in their bodies and in the world. Even if they intellectually understand that they’re not to blame for the attack or rape—because no victim is to blame for perpetrators’ sexual misconduct—they may still struggle with a sense of shame or guilt. Understandably, the mental health assault survivor’s experience may consist of many conflicting thoughts and feelings attached to the ordeal.
Putting words to your experience—although immensely difficult—can be one of the most cathartic experiences after trauma. Whether that’s in the sacred pages of your journal or in a partner, friend, or therapist who has won your trust, it’s an important part of healing.
Ready to talk about it?
The best way to tell someone you trust that you’ve survived sexual violence is the way that makes you most comfortable. If you decide discussing your experience could be therapeutic and helpful in healing after sexual assault, only do so when you feel the time is right. Try planning out how you’d like the conversation to go in ways that feel right to you.
What You’ll Say
Remember that disclosing doesn’t mean you have to share every detail. It’s your choice to share as much or as little as possible. The person you’re telling could ask you for more information—but that doesn’t mean you have to provide it. You can always say, “I’m not comfortable sharing more details right now.”
If you’re disclosing your experience with your romantic partner, it could be helpful if you’re specific about your sexual intimacy needs and boundaries. Sharing context can help them (and you) more fully understand what you’re comfortable with or should avoid. Without sharing more than you want to, you could say something like, “I prefer to do_______.” “I’m not ready to discuss it in a lot of detail, but I don’t like doing_______because of something that happened in the past” is also okay.
Speak With a Trained Professional
Planning your disclosure can be helpful. Still, it’s important to remember that conversations may not go as planned because you can’t predict another person’s reaction. You also might find yourself starting the conversation but suddenly deciding you no longer want to disclose at that moment. And that’s okay.
Consider going to therapy and speaking with a licensed mental health professional. At LunaJoy, mental health professionals are here to help women in all phases of life and give them the support, respect, and personalized care they deserve. The compassionate experts in this caring community founded by women for women:
● Listen without judgment. Our therapists won’t question your experience or say you should be over it by now. We won’t ask you what you were doing or wearing when the assault occurred—questions that could make you feel blamed and shamed. Skilled therapists know how to have conversations relevant to the physical and mental health of assault survivors without retraumatizing them.
● Provide an empowering environment. A compassionate, trained professional will make you feel safe and validated. Our experts know how to be receptive and respectful of your autonomy, carefully responding to what you decide to share about your situation, the recency of your trauma, and your emotional state.
Reach out to us at LunaJoy today to get the treatment you deserve for your mental healthcare needs. Our services aim to help you overcome challenges, whether you need holistic psychotherapy, evidence-based psychiatric strategies, or the guidance and support of a mental health coach. You’ll be empowered to start the journey of healing after sexual assault, enhancing your emotional and mental well-being and prioritizing wellness.
