Afraid To Be Happy? How To Find Joy When Celebrating Is Hard
Celebrating our wins and accomplishments should be easy, right? Yet, for many women, it's not. We might feel undeserving, fear judgment, or even believe that happiness is fleeting. Maybe we've experienced loss, disappointment, or pain in the past, and the thought of celebrating good things now feels risky.
All of these things and so much more can impact your relationship with joy.
In this blog, we'll explore how we can reconnect with the idea of celebration as a form of self-care and why it matters. We'll also share some simple ways to celebrate small wins and begin to reduce the stigma and fear of celebrating, even after difficult times.
Before you begin, remember that our professionals are always here to help
Why We Struggle to Embrace Joy: An In-depth Look
Sometimes, even the act of celebrating can feel like a radical thing. Embracing joy and celebrating freely can be a really challenging experience. But why?
If you’ve experienced trauma, neglect or abuse in your past, leaning into your joy can bring up difficult feelings. Instead of joy, you might feel feelings of unworthiness, fear of judgment, or even imposter syndrome. The experiences you’ve had can create an association between joy and danger, leading to a fear of experiencing positive emotions.
Mental Health’s Impact
If you are working toward a sustainable balance with your own mental health, you might struggle to recognize the joy you do feel. Those who are taking medication to manage their daily dance with anxiety, depression, or OCD may find it difficult to feel positive emotions at all. Whatever the reason, it's essential to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and normal.
You might feel afraid to hold on too tight—as if happiness is fleeting. Instead of celebrating, you worry that if you express that joy, it’ll vanish.
Society’s Expectations
It’s an unfortunate truth that society often values productivity and success over happiness, leading us to think that we need to keep achieving to be worthy of joy. The cultural emphasis is often on productivity and success, particularly in the workplace. We are taught from a young age that we need to work hard to achieve our goals and that success is something to be proud of. While there is nothing inherently wrong with striving for success, the problem arises when we start to believe that our worth is tied to our achievements.
This belief can create a constant feeling of racing against a clock you cannot see. Instead, you start feeling like any time you’re not achieving, you’re wasting time or potential. That kind of pressure makes it challenging to enjoy the present moment or appreciate our accomplishments, as you’re always focused on what's next.
How Marking Small Wins Can Boost Mental Health
Recent research shows that celebrating small wins can boost our mental health in powerful ways by helping to override genetically coded predispositions and traumatic memories, as well as building positive foundations for healthy relationships.
By taking the time to acknowledge our accomplishments, we can improve our self-esteem, reduce stress, and increase our motivation to keep going. Celebrating small wins can also help us cultivate gratitude and positivity, which are crucial for our overall well-being.
Simple Ways To Celebrate Small Wins
Celebrating small wins doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back, taking a break, or treating yourself to something you enjoy. Here are some ways that might look:
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down three things you're grateful for daily, and let them have their moment in the spotlight. Every so often, review the journal and see how your gratitude practice shifts and changes.
Share your accomplishments with someone you trust. Whether it's a friend, family or even a support group, sharing your wins can help you feel more validated and supported. Let them celebrate you too!
Take a break. Schedule time to do something you enjoy, like taking a bath or going for a walk. You can call it self-care, rejuvenation or simply homework- feeling your joy is that important.
Treat yourself. Think about your love language - when do you feel most appreciated?- and then indulge in a show of affection for yourself. Buy yourself a small gift or indulge in your favorite dessert.
The Role of Therapy in Overcoming the Fear of Celebrating
If you're struggling to celebrate small wins or feel that you're afraid to be happy, therapy can be an excellent place to start.
Therapy can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that might be holding you back. It can also provide you with tools and strategies to manage anxiety or depression, so you can feel more comfortable with positive emotions. As an online practice dedicated to accessible and effective therapy for women, we’ve seen first hand how therapy can help women overcome their fear of celebrating and cultivate more joy in their lives.
You Deserve to Embrace Joy After Pain
Celebration is a powerful tool for self-care, helping us to embrace joy and gratitude even after difficult times. By marking small wins, we can build resilience, boost our mental health, and reduce the fear and stigma of celebrating good things.
Whether it's through gratitude journals, self-care rituals, or therapy, there are many ways to begin embracing celebration as a regular part of our lives. And through this practice, we can learn to find joy in even the most challenging of circumstances. Online therapy is a great resource for those struggling to overcome the fear of celebrating and embracing joy after pain. If you’re ready, we are too. Reach out to Luna Joy to start your online therapy journey in 13 states today!
